Logo-This is an art page. Look at the pictures

What's new, Bill?

Last update 4/16/2010

Michigan Witches Ball 2010

I am very excited to be a sponsor for this great event! To find out more about one of Michigan's best parties, click the link above.

All sales are now being handled through my Etsy shop: www.splendidfish.etsy.com
Click on the link above to see what is currently available.
Don't worry, friends, it's still me behind the scenes!

I've added a new section called

Gods, Heroes, and a Couple of Regular Guys:
Corbin's Tall Tales

When I create a new piece
of design work, it often happens that they come, much like a baby with a silver spoon in it's mouth, bearing a story. Unfortunately, when I sell a piece, the story is sometimes lost with it. I've decided to collect these stories into a section all
their own, for your enjoyment.

Enjoy them!

Don't forget to click on the BLUE WORDS anywhere on this site to enter
new worlds of mythic imagination.

The Highly Dubious Relic of Heinrick the Heretic

Copyright 2010 - B. de Corbin and Splendid Fish Studio

The Highly Dubious Relic of Heinrick the Heretic

Back to index?

Not along ago I was in Rome for the 2009 Annual World Class Liar’s Convention where I was slated to give a keynote address. With a bit of time to kill, I made my way to the Vatican, where The Secret Vatican Archive of Nefarious Heresies was having its annual spring clearance sale.

I popped in, not really expecting much of interest, and in that I was not disappointed. There were some scattered manuscript folios in Latin, sporting worn leather bindings and pictures of assorted demons, a broken spear blade (first century, Roman) bound together by steel wires and a brass band, a few tattered pages of deteriorating Coptic scribbling - you know, the usual tourist junk.

As I was turning to leave, I noticed the Last Chance! Everything Must Go! table in the corner. It really did not seem like it would be worth my time, but I was already there…

To make a long story short, I did find a piece which seemed like it might have a bit of history attached. The price was right, I took a chance, and here it is…

According to an internet site which I haven’t been able to locate again, what I found is most likely to be what is known in occult circles as The Highly Dubious Relic of Heinrick the Heretic. My source tells me that, sometime around 1432 or 33, Heinrick Obinswitzer (sometimes known as Heinrick the Odd) attempted to revive the old Gnostic heresy preached by Simon Magus, with the role of Sophia/Helena (divine wisdom lost in the excesses of the material world) played by an attractively long legged fraulein who went by the name of "Babs."

As a sign of his power and authority to preach this esoteric doctrine, Heinrick would display this relic, using its power in a Teutonic ritual of transubstantiation, changing beer into bratwurst, and then back into beer again. Needless to say, this was a big hit at the local Beergarden, and Heinrick and Babs were soon invited to perform at local gatherings and weddings, entertaining a growing group of friends and admirers.

Things might have gone very well for Heinrick, except that the Beer Brewers Guild (or possibly the Bratwurst Grinders Guild. The records of the time period are incomplete) lodged a complaint with the local ecclesiasticals, and Heinrick's last performance was to entertain his friends by sizzling on an outdoor spit like a piece of overdone bacon. Representatives of the Beer Brewers Guild and the Bratworst Grinders Guild provided the refreshments.